It seems that we have been meme’d. I am here to talk about it. This is not going to be some “Boo hoo, I feel triggered and I need therapy” AA-styled meeting where we talk about what went wrong and repent our ways to become better people. This is a deconstruction and evaluation. This is me telling whoever made this (don’t you love how people lack the courage to stand behind their creations else they cop a bit of fallout in return?) they did a terrible job and why. If you must meme then do it well.

As an experienced meme creator I feel is is my right, no… my duty - to critique and give feedback. I get that many memes are designed to be terrible and look awful but this isn’t one of them. It is simply executed so badly that the real joke is on them. No wonder they choose to remain anonymous!

You are all wondering what could this meme possibly be? This meme I find so hilariously bad yet not in a good way. In a worse than rank amateur way. Okay, here it is…

As you can see it is tiny. This is the original and the picture dimensions are a mere 500x425 pixels. The only reaction I have to that can be this…

This looks like the sort of thing some teenager slapped together in five minutes in a rage after they felt judged because they were told the music they like isn’t goth or they happen to like wearing chokers. The spacing is terrible, the title is on it twice, inconsistent spelling (gatekeeper and gate keeper), detailed pictures that you can’t see the details on and more. So lets look at some of the things that are wrong.

Bro, do you even crop?

That is the empty space on the right side. Given how everything else was crammed in and even overlapping in parts, why not use it? Or at least crop it away. Makes the meme creator look like a dickhead who can’t even handle a basic photo editor. Here is a hint - google for “irfanview”. It is free, easy to use and the simplest software I have ever found for things like cropping photos.

While I am on the topic, the programs I use to make memes and for picture editing in general are Adobe Fireworks, Irfanview and good ol’ Microsoft Paint. All three programs do something better than the others. I could do it all in Fireworks but the other two have certain functions they do easier.

When Two Titles Go To War

Why does there need to be two titles on this that say the same thing? Why is one written with “gate keeper” and the other with “gatekeeper”? Why is one centre justified and the other left justified? It looks sloppy and makes no sense. That said if not for the bottom title the meme would be even smaller.

The easy stuff is out of the way, now onto the content that is supposed to make this amusing.

The Beautiful Hatred, The Beautiful Hatred

To start with sentences start with a capital letter yet all the band names have capitals. What’s up with that?

Manson… do they mean Marilyn Manson, Charles Manson, did they misspell the band Hanson? Will we ever know?

NIN… nuns in nunneries? Meant to say NINNY in capitals so its being shouted at some unknown trad goth gatekeeper they want to insult?

Also they assume an awful lot here. I know a few “obnoxious trad goth gatekeepers” (and have probably been called one myself, at least the gatekeeper bit) and none of them hate these bands. They may not like them but hate is a bit of an exaggeration. To hate something you have to care about it. They may hate that people assume like these bands by default but that is different. Trad goth gatekeepers will say those bands aren’t goth and they are correct. But of course the maker of this meme likely assumes if it is dark and spooky music it counts as goth.

Tangent time again. The term “trad goth”. Sure, it is short for “traditional goth” but what exactly is a trad goth anyway? Is it someone who likes older goth music from the 80s, someone who dresses like people in the 80s, someone who dresses in Victorian “traditional” clothes that people assume are goth now? Do the people who use the term “trad goth” even know what it is? Last time I checked, “trad goth” was just goth. What clothes and music you are into is an individual goth thing. There has never been a trad goth fashion trend or a trad goth music genre.

Judging Up Appearances

Look at how tiny it is. And it overlaps with another picture. Sloppy, sloppy rushed design. If you want people to share your meme and take it seriously this will not do. We are not laughing with it. We are laughing at it.

Oh good, we have discovered that sentences begin with capital letters now. Yet we do not know how to spell poseur.

P O S E U R

Spell it like that. A poser is a inquiry or puzzle. A poseur is… well… probably you. And being called such is likely also what made you madly rush into creating this meme.

A Joy Division tee and a choker. Joy Division aren’t even a goth band, they are post-punk. Sure, lots of goths like them but lots of goths also like Morrisey and Rammstein. It has only been in the last couple of years people have been trying to lump Joy Division in as a goth band. They are perfectly fine in post-punk and being there likely opens up their fan base more. As for the choker they aren’t inherently goth either. Lots of subcultures have them. They are a common mainstream fashion item across the world. The choker trend comes and goes a lot.

If I talk to someone wearing a Joy Division tee I would assume they liked the band, not that they are a poseur. If I talked to them and discovered they had no idea Joy Division were even a band, let alone not know a single song, then I might think they are a poseur. But I wouldn’t say it to their face because that is an arsehole thing to do. I would recommend some good Joy Division songs instead. I am sure most trad goth gatekeepers would do the same. So you have it backwards and wrong on this one meme creator.

The End Is Nigh!

Okay this one is kind of funny. Well, not funny but true. It is still a little hard to read though so the message might be lost on some.

Worth pointing out that a goth would not use the term “Thot” as it is too mainstream and we have our own words for people like that. Plus it makes no mention of black lipstick. If it were worded as “Thots with dark makeup and black lipstick aren’t goths” it would work better. The meme creator really has a thing for chokers being goth I don’t get. Maybe they assume BDSM chokers and collars are goth?

No One Expects The Spookish Gothquisition!

It is nice to see something I made being shared but there is only one way to react to this…

We can see it is The Gothquisition but all the jokes are too small to read! This is the image they stole in its full size :

All my wonderfully funny jokes and puns in all their glory! Now this is a well-made meme! The thing about a picture meme is people have to actually be able to see it. No one will share something stupidly small. Also the Gothquisition picture overlaps a block of text in the creator’s meme so it looks bad.

Plus this meme works for and against goth elitism at the same time. How you describe and frame it on posting/sharing it will determine how people perceive it. People will also see if you get the joke or if you are the joke.

Goth GF (Again? You covered this last article Belfry Network!)

The last part and it is another one of these moments…

Ohhhhhh I get it now. This barely legible picture is where they are getting the dark make up and choker thing from!

Just as well I have seen this one before so I know what the text says. For those who haven't seen it :

“I want a goth gf”
their crush vs what goth is

Kind of accurate though it assumes all goths go all extreme all the time. I get the point of that meme but it isn’t done well. And it isn’t just trad goth gatekeepers who would like this meme. It is ruined by shrinking it within another meme so you can’t read it. The point is lost yet again meme creator.

We Can Rebuild Him, We Have The Memeology

I have de-constructed and torn the original meme apart. That is fun and all but the question lingers of “Can you do any better, Joe?”

Why yes. Yes I can. But I am going to have to rebuild it from the ground up.

The only thing I am keeping is the Gothquisition bit. But I am going to change it and use something else from The Gothquisition.

As trad goth is not even a real thing that exists I am going to replace it with something that does. Or at least a word people love to throw around. You people who know my work already know what that word is. I was on the Cemetery Confessions episode talking about it, I have a meme page with that word in the title.

E L I T I S T !

I am going to call this meme “Obnoxious Elitist Gatekeeping Goth Starter Pack”

Now I need some pictures to flesh it out. Lets start with The Gothquisition one I mentioned :

I can shrink it and you still know it is The Gothquisition. I think the picture is from Gothquisition #2.

Next, the goth police logo from Gothy Discord’s Elitist Gatekeeper bot and the t shirts and patches they sell :

I have to include an Elitist Joe meme in the mix. The first one I made is perfect for this :

We have to have something referencing poseurs somewhere…

I may not use this one but it is funny :

Then there are the Amy Nekrotique memes with her quote about The Belfry Network. I’m sure I can fit one of those in…

Finally the application to get into Gothy Discord. I probably won’t use it as the text would be too small but here it is. Besides I am already going to use the Goth Police picture :

I am off to put this thing together. Back in a bit.

Oh! I almost forgot! I won’t be using crappy Aerial font for this. We have to make it gothic so I will use an appropriate font for that. But not gothic font. This isn’t a tattoo parlour.

Watch me dance while you wait

And I’m back. BEHOLD!

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, don’t die in the heat (or cold for you northies) and happy new year. More Aytakk to come in 2019!

One last thing while I am here, I am in the Goths For Sophie 2019 calendar and I made a funny video to help promote it. You should watch it. Buy one if you can and share the pozible page either way.